An Open Letter to Michael Tait (and all Christians)

Dear Michael Tait,

Like many, I was heartbroken when I read your confession. First, because I have been incredibly blessed by the songs you have sung over the years with DC Talk and most recently Newsboys. Second, because there seems to be something amazing that neither you nor any of the Christian media coverage I have read seem to know. And third, because you are a famous celebrity, I am a nobody, and there is no way for me to tell you the amazing treasure I have found in the teaching of Jesus and the Old Testament. So I am writing an open letter to you and any other Christians who, like both of us, have struggled with sinful addictions.

Note: I will share my story for context, but please feel free to skip to the end.

I grew up in a Christian family. I went to church twice a week. I went to Christian school. But although I knew a lot about God from the Bible, I did not know Him. During my teenage years I started doing a lot of things I knew were wrong, and by the time I was eighteen I was an atheist, a drug dealer, and an all-around disgusting guy. I destroyed my life in a few years, and when I realized what I had done I prayed the atheist's prayer: "Dear God, if you are real, please show me." Praise God, He allowed me to realise that yes, He definitely is real, and so I ended up reading the biography of Jesus (I think it was Matthew) and doing some research on the manuscripts. I was convinced, so after thinking about it I asked God for forgiveness, thanked Him for what He did for me on the cross, and gave Him my life in Jesus' name.

This was the first time that I am aware of that I perceived anything spiritual, and it was like a small lightbulb turned on in my soul. My perspective started to change, and the sinful things I had been doing lost their attractiveness. I started going to church again, reading the Bible, praying, and telling all my friends what I had found. God cleaned up my life remarkably. It was a miracle. Unfortunately rejection, heartbreak, loneliness, temptation, and my own desires overpowered my will to follow Jesus and I fell deep into sin again. I was drinking to excess, watching pornography, sleeping with girls, and messing with drugs. God disciplined me by taking away my ability to drink alcohol, so I started seeking God again, but after a couple years the heartbreak, rejection, loneliness, and desire started piling up and I fell back into sin.

After God disciplined me the second time I started to realise something. I had a serious problem. I was wicked. I liked sinning, even though I knew the price was either me in hell or Jesus nailed to a cross. So I started praying that God would not let me go again, and when people offered to pray for me I asked them to pray the same. I read the Bible for the third time, this time backwards (book by book), and between Psalm 22 and the fact that somehow the voice and character of God does not change despite being recorded by dozens of authors over hundreds of years, I started to believe in Jesus again. And I realized that if I really believe Jesus is the Son of God and people who heard His teaching wrote down what He said, then I should really be paying attention to it. And so I did. And I also noticed that there seems to be a spiritual map in the Old Testament in the journey of the Hebrews: out of slavery in Egypt, across the Red Sea, to Mount Sinai, through the wilderness, across the Jordan River, and into the Promised Land.

So I started praying, "God, you said in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven we must be perfect as God is perfect, but you also said, 'my yoke is easy and my burden is light.' What am I missing? How can it be both impossible and easy? What is the Jordan River? What is the Promised Land?" After praying this for some time He let me see it: the three states of the will. Basically, if you will allow me to explain it in my own words, when we believe in Jesus and repent, God puts His Spirit in us and somehow creates what seems to be a new soul. This is what is called being born again, and it is the Red Sea. At this point the old wicked soul is also still there. This is what Jesus called the double-minded man. It is the wilderness. It is not until we surrender what we call "free will" to God (two or more witnesses might be required — see Gethsemane) that we are baptised with the Holy Spirit and fire, the baptism of Jesus. This is the Jordan River.

I hope this reaches you and anyone else who needs to read it. To experience the power of God and the promises of Jesus "in the living years" is a priceless treasure.

God bless you,
Joshua